You’re thinking of him – or her – tonight, and all you can do is doodle your names together like you did as a kid in school.
Do your names work together? Do you look cute together? Would custom cake toppers of the pair of you turn heads? What would the kids look like?
If you find yourself asking any of these questions, even lightly, you might be ready to take a compatibility test to find out if you’ve really found “The One” or not.
What Is Compatibility?
The success of relationships relies on something called compatibility. This term refers to a couple that is able to relate to each other with equality and respect.
Compatibility also refers to mutual interests, similar core values, and complementary, though not always the same, activities and hobbies.
A healthy, happy relationship is one that gives both partners a sense of companionship, which is the result of true compatibility.
It’s important to remember that compatibility does not necessarily mean “completion” or that both people will complement each other in every way. Compatibility may well happen between two people who are very different in certain areas, though their core values and equality must align.
It is good for couples to have some differences between them. Healthy relationships allow for independence of both partners, including separate friends, separate hobbies, and separate workspaces and club memberships.
A couple who shares everything may get tired of each other or grow bored with complacency and lack of difference.
And, quite often, people find that their ideal of what the perfect mate looks, acts, and seems to be like will not necessarily match the actuality of the most compatible and complementary partner.
What Things Must a Couple Be Compatible In?
Psychologists suggest that there are six main areas in which romantic partners must be compatible.
1. Punctuality and Timeliness
It may seem like a small thing, but when one partner prioritizes punctuality and timeliness and the other does not, there are likely to be some unpleasant arguments ahead.
If one person thinks that tardiness isn’t a big deal, and the other person believes timeliness demonstrates respect, the problems will not only arise on occasions when the couple leaves together, but also when the couple is supposed to meet at a certain time for an important event, date, or other function.
And that means big arguments are coming, along with hurt feelings, and a likely ending to the relationship in a very unpleasant and hurtful way.
2. Spending and Money Issues
One of the most fought over topics is the money issue. This particular area of life is one of the most stressful points for individuals as it is, but when you bring together two very different people with differing views on the importance of spending habits, there are going to be major relationship issues.
If one person in the couple is thrifty and values a bargain, while the other person tends to engage in retail therapy, the likelihood of the relationship working out well is fairly low.
3. Cleanliness and Organization
Some couples may be able to make this one work, depending on the varying degrees of cleanliness and organization of the partners.
If one person tends to be extremely messy and disorganized, but the other person loves cleaning and organizing, it may work out.
There is likely to be significant tension along the way, however, as most people grow tired of picking up after their partner.
The person who is messy or disorganized may be able to change their habits and learn new tricks like taking ten minutes every night to “reset” the room or house. On the other hand, the organized person may be able to handle a compromise like giving the messy partner a place where he or she can get sloppy without the orderly person needing to enter the room except on rare occasions.
However, generally speaking, if one partner is a neat freak, and the other is a slob, things probably won’t work out in the end.
4. Sex and Intimacy
These topics can be hard to discuss, much like money issues, when you’re dating. At first, sex is a fun act, rather than an intimate act for many, so it’s hard to know for sure if you’re truly compatible or not.
Despite it being an awkward or difficult topic of discussion, both partners should be helped to feel free to discuss needs and desires in this area without fear of judgment.
Incompatibility in the bedroom tends to be the second most common reason – finances are the first – for long-term relationships to break-up, so getting in the habit of discussing needs early on the sexual relationship is important.
5. Spirituality and Religion
Sometimes, people of varying religious backgrounds and commitment levels can make a long-term relationship work. However, more often than not, these differences cause some major issues down the road.
These differences cause potential issues in a few important areas, especially where the raising of children comes up.
When one partner wants to raise the children in her faith, and the other partner wants no religion at all to be taught in the home, this can cause serious issues.
6. Life Rhythm and Priorities
Finally, one of the most important areas of compatibility is lifestyle. This encompasses things like sleeping and working hours, tension levels, stress levels, and how relaxed someone prefers life to be.
Someone who tends to be constantly running out to meetings or going clubbing each night probably won’t blend well with someone who would rather go to bed at nine and read books on a rainy afternoon, wishing there were more rainy days.
Someone who is a workaholic may well be fine marrying someone who thinks a nine to five job is too many work hours, but the long-term success is probably unlikely with such widely varied views.
It might be cliché but look at all the movies like It’s a Wonderful Life, The Proposal, or The Devil Wears Prada. Relationships tend to suffer when any activity – whether that’s a job or a hobby – becomes more important to someone than his or her partner.
What Is a Compatibility Test?
A compatibility test, simply put, is a series of questions that search out the truth of your compatibility with your partner.
These questions may be open-ended in some circumstances when a person is asking them, or they may be “yes” or “no” answers on websites and magazine quizzes.
Why Take a Compatibility Test?
If you’ve been dating for a while or have started wondering if the person you’re dating could be “The One,” you’re in the right place to take a compatibility test.
These tests are designed to help you know for sure if the person you’re already interested in is the right match or not.
How to Take a Compatibility Test
Compatibility tests are easy to take in the literal sense. You just have to be willing to answer questions honestly to get the true answer: Are you a match?
When you come to a question you’re not entirely sure of the answer, go with the one that is closest to the answer you would write in if you could.
Or, if you come to a question you don’t know the answer to, allow yourself some time to think about it. If a few minutes doesn’t give clarity, step away from the test for a little while and allow yourself the space to get really honest with yourself.
Remember that you can make any of these tests give the answer you want if you skew your answers. That’s why it’s really important to answer every question as honestly as possible.
The Best Compatibility Tests
If you’re ready to take a compatibility test, try any of these. They each take a slightly – or widely – different take on your compatibility, looking at different things that may affect your relationship with that significant other you’re hoping is “The One.”
Compatibility Test #1 – How Compatible Are You and Your Partner?
This test has thirteen questions that ask about things like the favorite activities of both you and your partner, romantic gestures, your sex life, timeline for marriage, and more.
The questions are mostly quick and easy to answer, though verify if you’re using the proper end of the scale as your gauge for the answers, as some of them are the opposite of what you’d expect.
Compatibility Test #2 – The Twin Flame Test
This test comes to you from Loner Wolf. They ask a series of questions that help you dig into the passions of your life, your emotions, and responses to your partner, and if you truly have enough in common or not.
One of the main themes of this test is the honesty and genuineness with which you conduct your relationship.
Compatibility Test #3 – 50 Relationship Questions to Test Your Compatibility
This compatibility test isn’t a closed-answer test like the other two, and you don’t answer the questions alone. Instead, this test from Love Panky is designed to be asked of both of you together.
It’s incredibly important to openly and honestly ask each of the questions, whether they’re about your impressions of Valentine’s Day, or your willingness to seek forgiveness when you do something that hurts the other person.
The Right Compatibility Test for You and Your Partner
Whether you’re the kind of person who wants to go full in and ask the fifty questions on the Love Panky quiz, or you’re just kind of starting out and wondering if your date is worth keeping, these three compatibility tests can help you understand how well you really work as a couple.
If they’re not enough, though, or have the wrong bent, you can check out the list of 50 compatibility tests on Allthetests.com instead.